Botriphnie WRI
Lonely Hearts Ad. Competition December 2004
1st Prize Joey LawHere I am a spinster
At the age of twenty nine,
And I'm looking for a soulmate
To be mine all mine.I haven't got a fortune
Just a modest but and ben
But I promise I'll be loyal
As sure as I hold this pen.I like eating out and cinema
A trip abroad each year
Apart from that I'd be content
Of that you need not fear,Did I forget to mention
I share my but and ben
With my mum, five cats, three budgies,
The dogs and oh - a hen.I like to go to bed at nine
My mum hogs the remote
She comes to bed at midnight
And reeks of rum & coke.Well I may not be called pretty
In fact I'm rather grim
But I promise to get my teeth fixed
When I find that special him.I look forward to some feedback
From this my earnest plea
I'm confident I'll find you
And you'll fall in love with me.
Botriphnie WRI
Lonely Hearts Ad. Competition December 2004
2nd Prize Dot Bremner
| THE DREAM | REALITY |
| Beautiful | Blowsy |
| Oversexed | Overblown |
| Treasure, | Tyrant |
| Rich | Really |
| Intelligent & | Impoverished & tells |
| Perfect:- seeks | Porkies - seeks |
| He man for | Headcase for |
| New | Nauseous |
| Interesting | Intimate |
| Exploits and | Experiences, for |
| Rare | Reasonably |
| Utopian | Uncertain |
| Relationship with | Relationship with |
| Another | Accident-prone |
| Liar | Lollipop lady |
| P.S. Own Jag an | |
| Advantage! |